A few days ago, I was heading back to my room from the parking garage after a shopping trip, my hands full of miscellaneous shopping bags, when a couple opened the stairwell door.
I thought to myself, “Yes! I can grab the door while it is closing behind them with my food and do the fun shimmy maneuver that flings the door open just long enough to get me and the bags through the door.”
I did not have to shimmy. The gentleman half of this couple held the door open for me.
Someone held open the door.
Yes, I said it: Someone, here on this campus, actually held open a door for someone.
I was in shock.
I managed my usual perky “thanks!” and headed down the stairs where, if you can believe it, the lady half of the couple was holding the door open for me!
Twice in just minutes, the door had been held open for me.
Now, I am always slightly disappointed when I am impressed with kind or polite behavior.
It makes me sad to know that it isn’t common practice for most to hold open the door for someone whose hands are full, or to hold the elevator when you see someone coming.
I am always surprised, and very concerned, when someone refuses to push the button for someone else’s floor.
I know I shouldn’t be, but I’m overcome with pride when someone actually says “please” or “thank you” to maintenance or dining services. I shouldn’t be, but I am.
Later as I walked down the sidewalk, basking in the moment that just occurred, I notice a group of four girls engaged in a very, very important conversation, presumably about shoes or rhinestone cell phone covers.
This gaggle consumed the entire sidewalk.
They were going to pass me, and I needed a plan.
I could dodge them by slipping by the security building and taking the long way through ResCom courtyard. But these bags were really heavy.
I could make myself as thin as humanly possible (very difficult for someone with a set of cheeks as wide as mine—yes, those cheeks) and try to become one with the fence.
I could stand my ground and fight them off with my bags, but that seemed a little risky being so close to security.
I could walk into the street and brave the oncoming traffic until they passed and frankly, speeding BMW’s are usually less intimidating than groups of such girls. I took too long to decide. They were here and I needed to do something.
Lindsay Lohan. Mary Kate Olsen. Think thin. Think thin. Nicole Ritchie. Misha Barton.
I introduced my cheeks to the fence, and they became close friends quickly. It wasn’t enough. The sheer girth of my rear and the immense amount of bags refused to disappear into the fence.
She ran into me.
You’d think I had stolen her mini-Chihuahua right out of her Louis Vuitton dog bag. It isn’t like she had moved, even an inch, to make room for me on the sidewalk.
“Let me get out of your way, princess,” I said in my mind.
Out loud I said, “Excuse me. Sorry!” in the most sympathetic voice I could muster.
And you wonder why a little bit of kindness surprises me so much.
So, thank you to the nice couple who held open the door for me, and to the gentleman who waited for me to get on the elevator before letting go of the door open button.
Thank you to the students in line around me who say “thank you” to dining services.
And a special thank you to those girls and guys who are so concerned with fake tans, the newest Hudson jeans, and all of life’s other important necessities, for inspiring me.
Kadie Hayward may be reached at khayward@ut.edu.
Out Of Class, Some Students Are Classless
Published: Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Updated: Wednesday, November 5, 2008
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5 comments
Strazer
It's unfortunately that you've had so many bad experiences with non-polite people. I definitely agree with Corinne that people everywhere are lacking etiquette, not just at UT. I live in Straz and students always seem to be holding doors and elevators for one another, smiling and saying hello. I make a point to be polite to my fellow peers and I feel like I experience their politeness in return. On another note, the Career Service office, co-sponsored with the UT Diplomats, offers a Business Etiquette Dinner and Dress for Success Fashion show every year, free of charge and open to all UT students.
Your name
Isn't it furthering the problem by allowing students to blame their parents? While parents certainly play a part in the types of individuals their children become students need to take responsibility for their actions at some point in there life.
Bob the Builder
I agree with Corinne and Biz Prof. It's not generational and it is the parent's fault. Children should be taught to say "Please" and "Thank You." I'm sure anyone will agree that most children who had to work for something or didn't have it easy as some others are far more polite and knowledgeable of proper etiquette. Note that this is not the same for every individual, because there are many out there that are considered the 'outliers' of their own class.
Corinne
I have had older adults do the same thing, so it is not generational. A class in Etiquette should be required in High School and at the University level. It is never too old to learn.
Biz Prof
Don't blame the students for their rude and tactless behavior. It's not their fault. It is their parents' fault in that they never taught them manners or courtesy. The really sad part is that when they grow up and attend college, they don't have the decency to learn it on their own. This is truly the "Me Generation". And, even more sad, is it may only get worse...
